# English Examples - Before and After

英文文本改写示例。

## Example 1: Software Update Announcement

### Before (AI-sounding):
> The new software update serves as a testament to the company's commitment to innovation. Moreover, it provides a seamless, intuitive, and powerful user experience—ensuring that users can accomplish their goals efficiently. It's not just an update, it's a revolution in how we think about productivity. Industry experts believe this will have a lasting impact on the entire sector, highlighting the company's pivotal role in the evolving technological landscape.

### After (Humanized):
> The software update adds batch processing, keyboard shortcuts, and offline mode. Early feedback from beta testers has been positive, with most reporting faster task completion.

**Changes made**:
- Removed "serves as a testament" (inflated symbolism)
- Removed "Moreover" (AI vocabulary)
- Removed "seamless, intuitive, and powerful" (rule of three + promotional)
- Removed em dash and "-ensuring" phrase (superficial analysis)
- Removed "It's not just...it's..." (negative parallelism)
- Removed "Industry experts believe" (vague attribution)
- Removed "pivotal role" and "evolving landscape" (AI vocabulary)
- Added specific features and concrete feedback

---

## Example 2: Travel Description

### Before:
> Nestled within the breathtaking region of Tuscany, the village stands as a vibrant testament to Italy's rich cultural heritage. Boasting a population of just 2,000 residents, it serves as a focal point for artists seeking inspiration from the rolling hills and cypress-lined roads that symbolize the enduring beauty of the Italian countryside.

### After:
> The village is in Tuscany and has 2,000 residents. Many artists visit to paint the surrounding hills and cypress trees.

---

## Example 3: Tech Company Profile

### Before:
> Additionally, the company's commitment to fostering innovation is underscored by its extensive patent portfolio, which encompasses groundbreaking technologies ranging from quantum computing to sustainable energy solutions. This multifaceted approach positions the firm at the forefront of the industry's evolving landscape.

### After:
> The company holds 127 patents, mostly in quantum computing and sustainable energy. Six patents were granted last year.

---

## Example 4: Academic Abstract

### Before:
> This study serves as a comprehensive examination of the interplay between social media usage and adolescent mental health outcomes. Highlighting the intricate relationship between online engagement patterns and psychological wellbeing, the research underscores the crucial role of parental mediation in mitigating potential adverse effects.

### After:
> We surveyed 500 teenagers about their social media use and mental health. Higher daily usage correlated with increased anxiety reports. Teens whose parents set screen-time limits showed 40% lower anxiety scores.

---

## Example 5: Product Launch

### Before:
> The launch represents a significant milestone in the company's journey toward excellence. Moreover, it showcases the organization's unwavering dedication to delivering products that epitomize quality and innovation. Industry observers have noted that this release could potentially reshape the competitive landscape.

### After:
> The product launches tomorrow. It costs $299 and will be sold in 12 countries. Pre-orders are 20% higher than the previous model.

---

## Scoring Examples

### Example A (Score: 48/50 - Excellent):
> The library added 50,000 books last year. Membership grew by 12%. I keep going back—it's the only quiet place in my neighborhood.

**Why it works**:
- Direct facts (specific numbers)
- Varied sentence length
- First-person opinion ("I keep going back")
- Simple language

### Example B (Score: 28/50 - Needs work):
> The library serves as a beacon of knowledge, symbolizing the community's enduring commitment to intellectual growth. Moreover, it boasts an extensive collection that underscores its pivotal role in the educational landscape.

**Why it fails**:
- Vague and puffery
- AI vocabulary ("Moreover", "pivotal role", "landscape")
- No specific details
- No human voice
